Infatuation follows a certain blueprint?

June 8, 2010 at 12:14 am | Posted in Heterophobia, Sarcasm | 22 Comments

Two nights ago, I’ve been able to get myself to attend at an acquaintance’s party. Acquaintance, not friend, we’re not that close. I never usually go to social gatherings. I’m socially awkward, if you must know. As much as possible, I try to avoid going to social gatherings and come up with the oldest excuses known to humankind or just plainly say the next day “I was feeling too lazy”, which is usually not the case.

And of course, I got to see old faces, people I haven’t seen in ages. And, you know, there’s the obligatory small talk, asking me what I’ve been doing lately. I don’t ask back, most of the time, afraid that the conversation will lead to more awkwardness or something else. Sometimes, I’m compelled to answer; sometimes I just shyly say “Oh, nothing much.” And then one, with all of his best intentions in mind I guess, asked me if I was still single. You see, I’m pathetically one of the very few who hasn’t still been in a relationship yet and pretty much the only gay person in our huge circle of friends back in high school. How that is possible perplexes me. Wait, we do have a lesbian friend but she’s obviously not a potential partner for me and now provinces away, haha.

And, of course, I sadly shook my head. In their heads, they think it’s my lack of social skills; in my own, I say it’s my eccentricities, unreasonably high standards and destiny’s hatred towards me. And then they started asking me what type of guy am I into or do I like and getting me to try hook-ups with other gay guys they know. Um, if you’re going to hook me up with someone, please let him be cute, at least. I couldn’t answer back and just laughed it off. I was thinking at the moment, what kind of guy did I really want? I mean, I was never specific even back then and my crushes didn’t exactly follow a certain blueprint or pattern. They really got me into thinking, haha. My only answer to them was that I liked my men geeky. Vague, much?

Now since I have no real idea myself, I shall create a blueprint for what kind of men I like. This shall now be a guide on future prospects for myself.

When they ask me of what ethnicities do I have the hots for, I usually say any men of any kind as long as they are hot. But the truth is, I have a thing for fellow Filipinos, Indians, and white men, specifically Italians… as long as they are hot. Haha, quick disclaimer. But, of course, that’s only a generalization. You never know, right? Wink, wink.

And my men shall be opinionated about all kinds of stuff. Don’t have to agree with me, as long as they know what they’re talking about. Yuppie capitalist scum are never a consideration, even if they possess such heavenly bodies. My men shall be a bit smarter than I am. Not too smart, or I might consider them as adversaries, rivals, competition. I don’t care much about their line of work or their annual salary and it doesn’t matter whether he would make more than I would but he shouldn’t be too committed to his work. Work is only a means to an end, despite your passion and devotion for it. And they shall know how to cook; I don’t want them to be like some people I know who are already husbands. Manigas nga sila; palamunin lang sila ng mga asawa nila. And my men shall teach me how to cook, while they’re at it, haha.

They shall be into some geeky stuff like films, sci-fi, graphic novels, superheroes, cool video games, comics, etc. You name it. But, at the same time, they shall be mature. They shall not be shopaholics or people who care too much about their own looks and clothing but, at the same time, they should know how to dress themselves nicely. And if I find out they obsessively collect shoes and/or bags, I’m outta there, haha. That’s just what I need, another one like my mom. They shall be good conversationalists and be able to talk about anything under the sun so we’ll never run out of anything to talk about. And they shall be good at sex and be up for anything. You’ll never know what goes inside my head, when it comes to stuff like that, haha.

Bow.

Um, Chris, good luck on finding that man, with those unreasonable standards of yours. No wonder, you’re such a loser still single.

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22 Comments »

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  1. Base! hahahaha.

    i don’t know, but i found myself checking if i did pass every qualification you mentioned. lol.

    -i don’t agree with you, all the time
    -i know how to cook
    -do you consider me a good conversationalist? haha.

    oops, i think i am sounding too conceited. anyway, this isn’t about me. what can i say? …hmmm. well you are a very likeable person, maybe you just have to go out more often. to meet new people. then do the “collect and select” process. kidding.

    balik ka na lang dito, mas marami ka pang makikitang prospect πŸ˜›

    • what i meant was, more often than not, I do agree with you, but not all the time. ewan. labo. my bad πŸ˜›

    • Um, I’ll get back to you about those stuff :P.
      But you’re not into any geeky stuff. Boo, haha.
      At least, you’re not yuppie capitalist scum, right? Oh, wait, you’re in the financial department. Hahaha, peace.
      The earth would have to crumble before I actually get the nerve to meet new people.

      • i may not be into those geeky stuff, but im not like any of those capitalist scumbags! hehe. i’m trying to build up myself here. but hey, i can cook the best ever sinigang which will make you forget your name. hahahahaha. good evening πŸ˜€

  2. Ang daming mong kaartehang hinihingi, samantalang ako basta lalakeeee. πŸ˜†

    • Manyak ka kase Salbe. Haha. Saka mahilig sa hipon. :p

    • Kahit mukhang pusit, ok na sa yo?
      Medyo taasan mo naman yung bar, Salbehe. Sa ganda mong yan ah. Sige, blush na yan. Don’t worry, I’m not hitting on you. Hindi tayo talo.

      • Mag ingat ka Eriz, lahat pinapatos nyan ni Salbe. Bwahahaha.

        Labyo Salbe. πŸ˜€

  3. Learn how to socialize! haha not just for the heck of it but also, malay mo you might find The One. Hoho.

    Singles are amazing individuals. They don’t need a partner to be complete. Then again, it’s still cute to have someone who’d stand by you at all times.

    • Eh, socializing’s not easy for me. I dunno.
      I’d still like to have someone. They might not complete me but, at least, I won’t be this fucking lonely.

  4. dude, i dont know you personally but i always believe that a blogger is defined not by how he really is in person, but how his thoughts flow through his blog. and you are by far, one of the wittiest guys ive known in the blogging world for crying out loud!

    tingin ko nga masarap ka ka-kwentuhan because you’re a smart dude. plus pa cuz you like movies and stuff.

    so get out of that shell from time to time man.

    • Ape, naku po, humahaba lang ang aking hair sa flattery mo.
      But, thanks, that means a lot.
      As long as we don’t talk about sports, I think we’ll be able to get along hahaha.
      But I am way more comfortable on this shell of mine, haha. It’s hard to get out of my comfort zone but I’m trying, I’m trying little by little.

  5. you are, no doubt, a very smart guy. and smart guys, more often than not are witty too.
    like what they said, go out and socialize, i don’t think the world is overpopulated with pompous vain dumb jerks, there are, in certain nooks and crannies, guys who might fit the bill. πŸ™‚

    • Too bad, I just can’t help but cave myself in and stop myself from doing anything risky.
      Guys who fit the bill and who are so high up the bar are unfortunately rarities. But, hey, where would the fun go if there were so many of them? πŸ˜‰

  6. You ARE pretty much the only gay person in our circle of friends. That doesn’t mean you are the only one though. :p

    See, you haven’t learned the true value of money. You should always consider your parter to be’s annual salary! Bwahahahaha.

    “They shall be good conversationalists and be able to talk about anything under the sun so we’ll never run out of anything to talk about.” – are you sure you are looking for a man? Yes, I am purposely being stereotypical. :p

    • What? You think that some of them just haven’t come out yet? πŸ˜›
      Eh, money’s not that much of a part of the men equation, haha.
      Yes, I’m definitely looking for a man. You’re thinking of mere boys, JC. Wahehehe.

      • Tse. Wala naman masama kung boys ah? Hahaha.

  7. I’m curious, though. Are these “standards” set in stone? What if he’s totally smart but he’s like, into jologs stuff? What if he’s hot and geeky but secretly loves A-1 and other boybands? :c

    PS:

    Have you ever though of finding a Mr. Right Now? And maybe, helping him become your dream guy? It’s not always what we want, but what we can give or do. πŸ™‚ Maybe someone out there is waiting for you to change his life.

    • Nope, that would be asking for the impossible. That was a bit of a joke since I wasn’t able to answer their question of what kind of guys do I like. I was dumbfounded.
      I did have a boy band phase when I was a kid so I would kind of find that cute but, otherwise, no jologs stuff please, only geeky stuff.
      Um, on the other question, no comment :P. Even though saying “no comment” is already considered a comment, oh well hehe.

  8. i think i’m everything you’re looking for. LOL. joke lang. πŸ™‚

    • Even the geeky stuff? We’ll just have to see about that then, hahaha XD :P.

  9. Hello fellow introverts :).
    I get the whole socially-awkward thing. While I don’t mind going to social gatherings and making small talk, I don’t really dig the party-all-night stuff. You can try to be a little more social but I don’t you should change that part of yourself that much. πŸ™‚
    Tastes in men huh? I’m probably too young to think about that yet but my standards are just as absurdly high. Go figure. Here’s to us finding that rare (or practically non-existent) guy on earth. ^_^


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