That’s so hetero of you.

March 26, 2010 at 9:24 pm | Posted in Heterophobia | 9 Comments

In my dictionary…

hetero [het-uh-roh]

– adjective
1. typical; common; ordinary: You lead awfully mundane and hetero lives.
2. bland; tedious; uninteresting: I find pretentious arthouse films so hetero that they put me to sleep.

– noun
1. a cliche
2. a plain and banal person: Heteros bore me.
3. an uninteresting person: I can’t be friends with a hetero.

I want to coin this term, and I order everyone to use this in a daily basis, to the point of annoyance and chagrin of straight people. And the most commonly used phrase shall be “That is so hetero of you.”

I just had to do this. I am so fucking sick of people using the word “gay” to mean something that you don’t agree with, anything that is displeasing, lame, effeminate, or disagreeable. Even the homosexuals are guilty of misusing the word.

Remember back then when “gay” used to mean happy? Hollywood stars would use the word “gay” quite often to describe anything cheerful, flamboyant, happy and wonderful. After the term was used to positively refer to homosexuals in the 1960s and 1970s, they would later use the word “gay” with negative connotations. Gay still means happy, while still being used to refer to a homosexual, particularly a male homosexual, but now homophobic Hollywood won’t even dare to use the word to define anything happy and wonderful. Instead, Hollywood expresses its homophobia by calling anyone weak and effeminate “sissies”, “faggots”, “queers”, and “pussies” and we’re only left with gay representations limited to sexually repressed cowboys who look good in tight pants.

I want you to have a party and be gay. Very, very gay! (Bette Davis in Dark Victory)

Remember when “gay” used to be the positive definition of someone who is attracted to the same sex? Those were the days. Of course, I wasn’t born yet then but those were the days. No, the pre-1960s weren’t the good days with all the world conflicts, fascism, oppression and discrimination but, during the 1960s and 1970s, there were revolutions and movements. There was hope. Now, not much change has happened. Now we’re all too busy. We’re all dormant and passive to even respond with hostility towards this capitalistic society of ours.

I just curl up inside every time I hear someone say “That’s so gay” and “You’re gay”. If you weren’t stupid, you’d know that was homophobic. Idiots never know when they might be offending someone. Fools never notice that there are other people who are forced to overhear their loud and barbaric conversations.

And since people are pretty stubborn and are not capable of changing their mindset in a matter of a few days’ time and their perception of things even if I keep blabbing about how the misuse of the word “gay” is offensive to the lesbians and gays, like myself, we’ll do it the hard way. We’ll start misusing the word “hetero” too. And no one likes being called uninteresting, average or bland. Just admit it, everyone wants to be a bit peculiar, to set herself apart from the crowd. Everyone proclaims herself to be weird, spontaneous and vivacious even when, most of the time, she’s not. This way, they’ll learn.

Now that you have read this amazing post and bask in all my glory, you can go back to your hetero lives. πŸ˜›



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  1. This post wins. πŸ˜‰

    I totally agree with you. These days, people, especially straight ones, use the word “gay” as part of their jokes. I don’t see the humor in it. Even those “no homo” jokes, I don’t find them funny. Thanks for this. Now, I have something to throw back at them. πŸ˜‰ Nyahaha. Love it.

    • I actually have never heard the phrase “no homo” until recently. What the fuck? Then I ought to use the “no hetero” phrase as well then. That would be considered as equality, right? Bohahaha :P.

      I thought of this ages ago. And the word hetero does suit the description I made, right? Wahehehe. Now, I shall use it in a daily basis and kindly explain myself when they ask me what I mean by that.

      • Just search the phrase on Google and Youtube. The results will show you how atrocious it really is.

        And yes, “No hetero” sounds awesome, as well. Payback time. Hahah. πŸ˜‰

  2. I use ‘gay’ for fun. I mean, I only tell people I am close with that what they are doing is gay, like you, because I know you wouldn’t be insulted. I even tell myself that sometimes. I never thought people would take offense in the way I say it, I mean, I sometimes like to mock people for being stereotypical. Like the time when I saw your post about you listening to, I can’t remember what song that was–, I promise I shouted ‘That’s so gay’. Would you prefer me calling you a cliche then? I mean, only when you are doing those kinds of things. πŸ˜›

    • Hey, you’re the one who watches Glee, okay? Not me. You’re the cliche :P.

      Anyway putting all jokes aside (which I always do), I did have a hard time coming out to friends and acquaintances in high school just because of the way they used the word “gay” in a daily basis to refer to anything that is not agreeable, cool, or good to them.

      They don’t use the word gay for anything that is stereotypically gay. They use it for almost anything they don’t like. I was really put off. They say they’re not homophobic, but it doesn’t show if they keep on misusing the word “gay”.

  3. love this post. and moving forward, ‘that is so straight’ would now be part of my vocabulary. πŸ™‚

  4. great post here! woot woot!

    i remember, when i used to wear pink clothes at work, or proclaim that i cant wait to see the next episode of Gossip Girl, my officemates would often remark, “You’re so gay,” as if only hetero females can do those.

    nice and uplifting post you got here. =)

    • Just answer back “That’s so hetero of you to say such a remark.” Then, they’ll all look confused and shit. πŸ˜‰

      Spread the word, gays :D.

      PS: I don’t like Gossip Girl though. Eww. Haha :P.

      • hahahaha! will spread the word!!

        btw, Gossip Girl has really turned into one trashy show. season 1 lang naman nasubaybayan ko (defensive!) =)

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