Emo and hiphop are just two sides of the same coin.

March 16, 2010 at 3:50 pm | Posted in Sarcasm | 20 Comments

You heard me.

Emo is just a bunch of rich white kids who claim to be different from the crowd and complain about how their life sucks. Hip hop is just a bunch of rich black kids who claim to live in the chaotic ghettos and complain about how their life sucks. Ergo, two sides of the same coin.

Skinny with excessive make-up and accessories, fugly hair and signs of depression. EMO!

Jay-Z, you don’t have 99 problems; you only have 1 problem, where to spend all your big-ass wealth. You, cunt.

Emo kids whine about how life is tough in their dull suburban lives. Oh, yes, life is tough when you live in a first-world country with all the excessive resources you can consume. You get to eat three meals a day. You get to spend money on whatever you want without having to sweat and bleed for it. You get to go to school, which means you get to have a better future. You don’t have to always worry about your food and shelter for tomorrow. Oh yeah, life is so tough. Please.

Oh, right, it’s tough being a white kid too. A bunch of ethnic people (their term for any non-white people) have infiltrated your community and you don’t like hanging with the likes of them because they’re different. You feel threatened. Immigrants are so scary and abusive, right? You’re scared that maybe the racial stereotypes are true. You’re scared you’ll soon be a minority in your community. Only another bunch of your white look-alikes would be able to understand the total despair and angst you go through. Please, the rich white grown-ups have been trying to westernize and fuck up almost everything in this world. Unfortunately, their annoying faces, along with their supremacist egos and xenophobic attitudes, are not going away anytime sooner. You’ve never gone through oppression, intolerance and discrimination in your whole entire life, unless you’re a part of another minority group (women, gays, transexuals, disabled people, etc.).

Hiphoppers whine about how life sucks in their ghetto homes, the suburban slums. Oh, yes, life is tough when you live in a first-world country and possibly have more career opportunities than your other brothers and sisters in the third-world countries. Oh yes, life is tough when you have enough money to buy your “bling-bling” and your fugly-ass cars.You live under a roof with you. Unlike other minority groups, black people also get to be represented and have a lot of other well-known, successful black people to look up to in the media. Oh yeah, life is sure tough. Please.

Oh, right, it’s tough being a rich black kid too. The white kids are always after you. The “chinks”, “flips”, and the terrorists are taking over your community with their small businesses, and they don’t even know how to speak English, right? Guess what? Most of them do. The police and the masses are always suspicious of you and think that you’re always up to no good. People think you’re such jerks because of your skin color and all that. You even have it tougher than Nelson Mandela, Malcolm X, and all them who had to go through a lot of oppression and more obstacles to fight for your rights and your freedom. Please, these days whenever we hate you and don’t like your attitude, it’s really because you’re a jerk and you have an attitude, not because of your skin color. You’re using it now as an excuse for your stinky attitude. And, unlike your ancestors, you didn’t have to go through slavery and being servants to those white assholes and you now have more freedom in your lifestyle choices. And guess who’s in control of the corporate hip hop industry? A bunch of white people!

Emo, thanks to you, a lot of people think contemplating suicide and being depressed about almost everything are so romantic and chic. And just one expressing one’s emotions will immediately mean that one’s “emo”. Hip hop, thanks to you, the luxurious, misogynistic playboy lifestyle has been glorified and glamorized to death and the term “pimp” has now a positive connotation and meaning to our youth. Thanks to you all, our youth are a bunch of mainstream sexist, homophobic, materialistic, manic-depressive dicks and cunts.

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  1. excellent post Chris! love the satire. one of the best posts I stumbled on all week.

    ok, let me just say this out loud – I hate emo’s. Life is beautiful. It may be a bitch sometimes but thats how it is. Just because you can’t handle life and the truth about it – doesnt give you the right to whine and paint your damn eyeliners black. Message to emos: guess what, when you do complete a full-on suicide – no one will fucking care. So get the scowl off your face and act like you got a pair.

    • Despite my bitterness, cynicism and my hatred towards humanity, yes, I still think life is beautiful, if you don’t let it get the best of you. And there are always those little things that make life really worth living.

      I must admit that I used to be constantly depressed and act like one of them but that’s really a part of my life that I want to forget. πŸ˜€

  2. I don’t think hiphop people complain about life as much as emo people do. And hiphop people scare me more. I avoid emo people, but hiphop people scare the living hell out of me just because they keep on wearing loose shirts.

    And you used to call me emo. THE NERVE! Hahahaha. Anyways, most of these people are just going through a phase. I am not certain of it but that’s what I believe in because I cannot imagine them growing older and speaking with their wives saying ‘Yo baby you wanna ride and make a baby yo?’

    • I’d just roll my eyes. They’ll probably be more intimidated by me than I would of them, haha. They’re just a bunch of wannabes.

      Did I call you emo before? I don’t remember. Well, if I did, maybe because you probably did act like one back then XD. Hahaha.

      Huh, aren’t Ludacris, Jay-Z, and all those guys way past their 20’s? Even most of the emo bands have members way past their adolescence. Come on, some people just never grow up.

      • I don’t know what to say. I mean, I get annoyed with Hiphop people often. And as I told you earlier, I get scared when I see them in the mall.

  3. One thing I’ve been trying to practice lately is the virtue of live and let live. We are from different races, have different faces and it is our sole choice what to feel about what has been happening lately. Songs are works of art, but some people just tend to label them-like hiphop is to blingbling and the like. Come on, it’s music, and you don’t have to label it.

    Or maybe I just don’t want to.

    I listen to any genre of music. From Dresden Dolls, Ingrid Michaelson, Within Temptation and Lady Gaga. They’re all great. And I’m not emo, nor am I hiphopper.

    I’m just myself.

    • I wouldn’t think of corporate hip hop and emo as works of art, especially when there are only boobs jiggling, jewellery hanged at almost every part of the body they can think of blinding my eyes, product placements all over the place, and the women as just accessories to the male singers (whether they are really good at singing or not is another topic on its own) in the music videos….

      That’s great that you listen to all genres of music. I myself still need to listen to more. Music is not my area of expertise. But people must be also aware of the negative influences and sides of these genres, of all things for that matter.

      I am merely pinpointing the irony about how these people who are singing about the toughness of life, poverty and how life sucks live in big houses, have a lot of wealth and probably never experienced being poor or in need in their whole entire lives.

      Anyhow, thanks for commenting :D.

  4. Whoa. You really are…er, passionate about a lot of things. πŸ˜‰ I applaud the fact that you are fearless in your opinions. I do agree with your points. I HATE how hiphop glamorizes violence and sex and “ghetto living.” Emo does the same with death and pain and all that. Kids are very impressionable and people should be more cautious about the messages they impart.

    • Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? πŸ˜›

      I am more worried about how emo makes the youth think that just being all broken-hearted literally means the end of the world, as if that’s the only thing worth living for, the most essential thing in our lives. Sure, love must be the only thing that can fill the void in our lives but moping around, whining and making it difficult for the other people around you aren’t going to solve anything. I should know ;).

      And how hip hop treats women as sex objects and glamorizes the playboy and “pimp” lifestyle. And the scariest thing is, a lot of women watch these music videos and don’t even react to it in a hostile manner. They just seem to accept this as a universal truth. That’s fucked-up.

      Here I am again, going on and on :P.

      • Hahaha. I meant it ALL as a compliment. You have these really FIERCE opinions. I’m thinking it would be awesome to just have a cup of coffee with you and hear you talk and talk. LOL. πŸ˜‰ Not in a bad way, okay? I like people with things to say. And you definitely got a lot.

      • *strikes a fierce pose* Now, that’s fierce, hahaha XD.

        Thanks, I do have a lot of things to say that even my sister gets tired of always listening to me blabbing on and on about things. I know she doesn’t say it but I can tell XD.

        The weird thing is, in real life, I am actually the one who listens and not the one who does the talking. Well, at least most of the time when things that I want to talk about aren’t exactly what they want to discuss with me and when I just don’t really feel the person if you know what I mean, hehe.

        Hey, how about the things you want to talk about? πŸ˜€

  5. LOL. If I had Jay-Z’s big ass wealth, my only problem would be how to keep it from burglars. HAHA.

    I can spend it all in one day, by just using it to slash out all 100 items on my list. πŸ˜€

    • They have tight-ass security for that… πŸ˜› So that’s the least of their worries.

      I don’t want to make any promises of what I’d do if I ever become a millionaire because I’d probably eat my words if I do become one, the chances of this happening 1000000000000000000 to 1. πŸ˜›

      • LOL. Forgive me for dreaming on. LOL.

  6. do you read jessica zafra, the future dominatrix of the world? i’d like to ask if you are somehow blood-related to her, you got her satirical note.

    • I actually do. I guess it shows XD.

      Thanks for the compliment πŸ˜€ although I’m not so sure what Jessica Zafra, our ruler, would think about the pale comparison, her writing having more flow and all.

  7. You whined so well, baby.

    You better listen to these songs: “Seven” by Sunny Day Real Estate, “Overdue” by The Get Up Kids and “Love will tear us apart” by Joy Division…… they are, well, for me, the best emo songs.

    They are dark, but very uplifting..

    • Yeah, I try to do my best always when whining πŸ˜‰ :P.

      Imma check out the songs but I doubt your music choices would be anything emo ;).

      • they are.. not so obvious though..

  8. i can’t stop but to grin while reading this post. i don’t know if it’s because we have the same sentiment or what. maybe your tone, perhaps? it’s a little bit.. haha! anyway, believe me, it’s rare for me to see emo white kids, especially these days -even blacks who hippin hop. i think the hype have gone down, at least to where i live right now. hehe. but it once crossed my mind that people dressin like these don’t necessarily share the same reasons that you stated above. and not all of them whine. i mean, i have a white and black friend who were once going out like these for the sake of individuality and style. neither they acted like ghettos or hardcore emo, which is quite good.

    anyway, i like you and i like your blog. i will surely come back for more πŸ™‚ oooppps!! that doesn’t mean that i’ve gotten used to your tone.. haha! now i believe that you’re snobbish. really.


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