A childhood sexual fixation

May 23, 2010 at 10:37 pm | Posted in Oddball | 33 Comments

Okay, so compared to last month, I’ve been blogging less lately. It’s not that I’m busy. I have few work shifts and I am still passively looking for another job and waiting for a response from the universities I’ve applied in. It’s just that I have been spending my time watching films instead, which most of you must have noticed is my hobby, my obsession. I’ve been trying to watch most of the the films selected (that I haven’t seen yet) for a competition in the forum The Auteurs so I can participate in voting and all. It beats looking for a better job, anyways, and keeps me occupied.

So, enough of the general pseudo-social critique and babbling that I usually post in this blog of mine for a while. That’s just me being tired and sick of all the hypocrisies and mediocrities in this world. Instead, I’m here to admit something that I haven’t personally shared to anyone I know in real life. It’s just something from my childhood that I’d never forget.

When I was a kid, I used to jack off to Disney’s The Jungle Book. Seriously.

Among all the Disney films and other animation films I had in my collection (those VHS tapes are now all not in my possession), one of the few I’ve watched hundreds of times is The Jungle Book. The film’s not that good. Aside from the catchy The Bare Necessities song, the film’s mediocre, at best. Personally, I think Alice in Wonderland, Fantasia, Bambi and The Three Caballeros are the best films that the purely evil Walt Disney has ever produced. The rest are about 1-dimensional damsels-in-distress who dream no more than getting it on with Prince Charming, the real villain of them all Disney villains and a bunch of talking animals, with apparently thick human accents. So that’s how animals communicate with each other.

Anyway, of course, I haven’t reached puberty yet and I had no definition, no sense, of what I felt for the same sex. And I didn’t exactly know what I was doing. But I felt tingles whenever I watched the snake, Kaa, seducing hypnotizing Mowgli. Seriously, Kaa could have just eaten him quite easily without the need of hyposis. While watching those two scenes where the snake Kaa unsuccessfully tries to hypnotize him before devouring him, I would lie face down on a sofa, cling to it, and press my body, and my puny cock, against the soft texture of the couch, humping it until I released those body fluids, until I finally came. Sometimes, I would just fast-forward through the rest of the film just for those two key scenes. And I remember wishing that the film would have been a whole lot better if Kaa did get to eat Mowgli in the end after all those seductions that left me with an erotic sensation.

And, apparently, I am not alone on this one. After viewing a couple of the Kaa and Mowgli scenes posted in Youtube, the exact scenes I quite enjoyed during my childhood, I read a bunch of comments on the video, stating that they also got turned on by Kaa and his hypnotic ways, that they have/had erotic fantasies about Kaa and Mowgli, and that they themselves wanted to be wrapped around Kaa’s, er, body. And I don’t know which would have been better: knowing that there are other people who also felt the same way as me or thinking that I was the only person who felt that way towards those scenes.

Trying to vaguely explain as to why we are sexually aroused by Kaa, I guess it must be his aggressive seductions on Mowgli, his hissing sounds, , the voice actor’s charming voice, and finally the way he tries to trap or prey on the poor, innocent Mowgli. If this was a cartoon about humans instead, Kaa would have been a pedophile. Now, don’t start getting all Freudian on me, okay?

I know that’s a little bit fucked up but, just thinking about it now and watching the scene again years later, I’m feeling some kind of erotic sensation overwhelming me.